Sometimes life brings you a bowl of lemons for you to make lemonade. As we live our roller coaster-like experiences, we are faced with challenges, pain, hardships, and frustrations followed by happiness, elation, and growth.

When we look at our more painful experiences, we often realize that these are lessons life has taught us. For many of us, school is always in session. We are continuously aware that through all of our hardships we come out of the experience a little stronger and wiser.  We see the experience as an opportunity to learn life lessons.

I must remind myself each time I am disappointed, frustrated, and upset. I must come away from the experience and ask myself, “What did this teach me?”

Sometimes experiences are costly. Time is wasted, money is lost, and feelings are hurt. The value of the lesson learned need not be in direct proportion to our losses, however. We must be in a state of mind to reflect upon what this experience has shown us so that we will live a more successful and happy future.

We all can learn from our mistakes. This past weekend I went on a horseback ride. This had been a part of my physical therapy program a year ago. This time was different. I went to a public stable and joined a group of 15 other riders to enjoy a Sunday afternoon in the country.

When I met the tour guide and signed up for the ride, I told him that I was paralyzed from the waist down from a spinal- cord injury, but could ride a gentle horse if it walked slowly. He brought out a horse named Red.

My husband Mark and the tour guide assisted me out of my wheelchair as I put my arms around Mark’s neck and was lifted onto the saddle. The tour guide positioned my legs and put my feet in the stirrups.

As I sat tall in the saddle, I smiled with the anticipation of being on a horse that walked. Since I couldn’t walk, I was able to get around on this horse’s back - the next best thing to walking.

The group prepared to leave the stable area on its tour. I heard the tour guide asking Mark if I could ride a slow trot. Mark told him he thought I could, since I had some riding experience. The horses followed the lead tour guide in single file. My horse walked near the end of the line.

It was a cool, cloudy day, so I wore my jacket, tennis shoes and jeans. I also wore a helmet, just in case I should fall. I looked back and smiled at Mark, who rode behind me on his horse. This was our day to enjoy.

After about five minutes of riding, I noticed the lead horse picking up speed. One by one the other horses followed. I knew what was coming next, tightened what few muscles in my legs would tighten, and gripped the saddle horn tightly with both hands. I felt Red start to change his gait to a trot.

At first, the thrill of the speed delighted me. This was a new challenge and feeling of movement. Then I was aware of the jolting going on inside my body. I thought my internal organs were being permanently rearranged. I became conscious of my jaw movement and feared that I would bite my tongue. I clenched my teeth hard.

The trotting continued, and I closed my eyes, holding tightly onto the saddle horn, fearful of falling. My entire body bounced up and down on the saddle. My paralyzed legs and feet dangled along the sides of the horse.

After a few minutes the lead horse slowed to a walk. My horse followed. At last, I was safe. I forced a smile, reassuring Mark that I was fine. Little did I know that this series of gait changes from a slow walk to a fast trot would continue for the next hour.

Finally the hour-long ride was over. My thighs were aching, and as I was helped off the horse, I welcomed my wheelchair’s stability and comfort.

When I got back to the lodge, I was shocked to see a dark spot on my left sock. I removed my shoe and sock and discovered that the stirrup had cut into my ankle and created a deep, bloody gash. I hadn’t felt a thing.

Seeing the bloody gash and not feeling any pain was a weird experience. Since I have an SCI and my legs are paralyzed, I can’t feel pain in certain areas of my body. I hadn’t felt the pain to alert me that something was wrong and I needed to make a change.

I learned many lessons from this experience. First, there is no such thing as a slow trot! Second, do not let anyone else speak on my behalf. I should have spoken up when the tour guide asked Mark about the slow trot, and requested that the horse only walk. Third, I should have worn boots. Fourth, I became more aware that my body is more vulnerable to injury. Fifth and most important, I learned that pain can be a good thing.

Our bodies are amazing. When we feel physical or emotional pain, we need to recognize this as a warning that something is wrong. We need to make a change in order to make the pain go away. When pain cannot be felt, we are likely to be in more serious danger.

When physical pain is felt, our reflexes come into play. For example, if we can feel heat from a flame or hot object on our skin, we immediately draw away from the source. We may also start to cry. If we cannot feel this heat, our skin will be burned without us knowing about it. The damage is done. Obviously pain is a good warning in order to protect us from harm and suffering.

Pain and suffering can have value in our lives if we learn from the painful experiences and do not repeat the incidents. Pain can bring us wisdom, understanding, awareness, and enlightenment.

When we experience emotional pain, we may also have a tendency to react by pulling away and crying. We allow ourselves to feel hurt by the actions of others. We feel unloved, distressed, and under-appreciated. Our egos are fragile and the emotional pain caused by others can be harder for us to deal with than physical pain.

Each of us goes through painful experiences. With pain comes change. With change comes growth.

As we look back at our most painful experiences, we need to recognize what changes resulted and how we are better off now than we were before the pain. What is important is that we take the time to reflect. When we are in pain, we can learn from the experience and make the needed changes to avoid more pain in the future.